Chapter 1- It’s not just that simple to be married!

Covid-19 The Pandemic pregnancy 

In this Journal I would like to share my experience throughout my pregnancy during the pandemic. You will find the stories and the mixed feelings I am going through this phase. I have also shared a few conversations with some beloved people. I hope you will enjoy a tea time story!

We are not the so-called Happily ever after couple. We do have our own ups and downs. During this Pandemic crisis handling our pregnancy was the most difficult one for both of us.

During the initial days, it was very tough for both of us to handle. The First trimester was way worse than the second trimester. I got a temper so quickly over very small and crazy things. Physically and mentally the changes in me dragged the monster inside me and he is the only witness.

We used to have arguments and bitter conversations every other day, literally my hormones made me pursue my anger till 3 am in the morning.  Time passed on before we could figure out whether it is because of my mood swings or because of lack of his skills to handle the problem, whichever it is, trust me those were such bad days. We both reach the heights of craziness arguing over silly and worthless matters.

For every Indian girl, their mom’s place is heaven to cherish her beautiful changes both physically and mentally. But in my case, I chose to be with my husband rather than to experience the privileged stay in my mom’s place.

In a situation like a pandemic, I felt my decision is right and happy to be staying together with my husband. If I chose to go back to my mom’s place in India, he will be left alone here in Japan. Despite my situation, it seemed perfect to stay back here in japan and tie up with him. Before the lockdown was made official in Japan, many companies requested their employees to work from home, so did my husband's company. 
Since the end of February, he started working from home, and still, it goes on after 90 days. Initially, I was happy having him around as a company but eventually we both kind of felt bored at times. He never used to be a “stay-home-person”, being at home all day night staring at each other's face, ugh!

Our sleep routine changed, lunch, and dinner time changed. There was no room left for breakfast as we woke up past 11 am every day. Though he was brought up like the typical Indian boys, by not doing any household works, after marriage he tried to work on those and even succeeded. Ultimately he started sharing a few of the household chores here and there.

Smashing all his efforts sometimes my mood swings played us to run into trouble between us. However, gradually he cracked the ways to handle my mood swings and to console me during my temper moments.

First Trimester was way worse than I thought! At the end of my first trimester, I got used to my pregnancy. Welcome the second trimester! It was happier indeed!

It was the month of April when I entered into my second trimester, the weather here was getting good, and helped us go out for a little walk without all those heavy winter jackets. I felt good about my pregnancy, sometimes danced, sometimes rode a bicycle, and had a few photos clicked happily showing my little baby bump.

In south India(Tamilnadu), we have this ritual for pregnant women during pregnancy called “Valaikappu” - Baby shower. It will be done in odd months as the 5th,7th, or 9th months of the pregnancy.

Our initial plan was to go back to India at the end of May (it would be my 7th month of pregnancy) to have my valaikappu in India. We both looked forward to it with so much excitement. To make sure I won't miss out on being here, he planned for a baby shower in japan with friends. We both always feel happy to have our extended family(friends) in japan to celebrate our happy moments with us.

Unfortunately for us, when COVID-19 spread peaked during the first week of April (thanks to those who desperately celebrated Hanami(Japanese traditional custom of enjoying the transient beauty of sakura flowers)  with groups in late March) he had to cancel the event.

Despite the situation, he made sure not to disappoint me and managed to arrange a baby shower with closed people with the Tamil rituals.

I felt beautiful myself and blessed to have such a person beside me to support me during this difficult time. Though all our anticipation pregnancy plans and pregnancy privileges were torn into pieces, he got that capability to put a smile on my face whatever it took. What else I need more.